Rules for Staying Alive in the House that’s Living

Part 1: Rules for The Envelope

I was gifted a house from a relative that I had never met before. This relative was apparently a distant cousin of my grandma and I was the closest family member she had when she died.

That’s where I’m heading right now. I have no clue what this place looks like, but hopefully its livable. I’m not doing so hot right now. I lost my job two weeks ago for reasons I still don’t know. Being a writer is a hard profession to work in. I barely landed my last job.

As I came around a curve in the road, I noticed a large house peaking out from within the trees. So far, so good. Looks like a nice house. I think this might work. Worst case scenario, I sale it. I win no matter what. No worries. Right?

The house finally comes into view and just Wow. Its beautiful. Old colonial, red brick. Just beautiful. I was in shock. I had just hit the lottery in housing.

As I pulled up and got out, I noticed a person waiting for me at the bottom of the front steps. She was dressed in a really nice pants suit and her face looked like she had smelt something awful. She looked real pleasant.

Hello, you must be Evelyn. I’m Lacy, your late relative’s attorney. How are you?

I returned the greeting and just let her know that it’s okay to call me Eve.

She could tell that I was in awe of the house and that seemed to make her even more unhappy. She walked over to my vehicle and sat some papers down for me to sign. I thought it was a little strange for her not to lead me inside the house to sign the papers on a flat surface, but it’s whatever. After I signed, she handed me an envelope that was rather large. The attorney told me to read the documents in order. She said the first document is the only one that I can read right now. I must read that one before proceeding any further. After she told me this, she half jogged/half sprinted to her car down the driveway. She didn’t say bye. She didn’t say anything else in regards to the house. She was gone so quickly that it was kind of like she was running from something. Odd lady.

As I stood in front of the house, I looked at the envelope that had a little heft to it. The envelope…